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Special Skills for Babes in Need

An excerpt from the book
Babes on Blades by Suzan Davis

The Potty Stop

Goal: Use public restrooms without rolling out the door with your pants down giving the innocent public a full moon at high noon. This is one of those skills most Babes learn by “hit and miss”—mostly miss. This is your chance to learn it correctly.

This works in public restrooms and port-a-potties. Many Babes initially snort that they will never use one of those. You will. When the weight of your fanny pack feels like a sack of rocks on your bladder, you will experience “willingness over fear.” Hint: Do not entertain taking off your skates. Many public restrooms have wet floors and it is not from rain.

Practice on a couch or bench, skipping bullet point number four.

Take off and Landing: Reverse Order

Landing:
  • Approach toilet and proclaim, "You will not conquer me"

  • Turn your back seat to the toilet seat and touch the porcelain with the back of your leg. Hopefully, it will be dry.

  • Put your toes together so you won’t roll, or place toe of right skate on end, keeping your first wheel on the ground, lifting all others.

  • Pull down your pants.

  • Go down low and slow.

  • Use your imagination.

Take Off
  • Place toe of right skate on end, keeping your first wheel on the ground, lifting all others.

  • Push up from this wheel and stand, keeping knees slightly bent for balance.

  • Remember, if the port-a-pot is on a grade, you will roll into the door, so do not point your skates toward the door but in an “A” (toes pointed inward) or at an angle.

  • Another option is to put your braking foot forward and press down on your heel, employing your brake, and lifting up. Put your weight on the brake as you rise.

  • Pull yourself together.

  • Congratulate your Babe self and exit with a look of victory instead of a gaze of bladder urgency.

Suzan Davis Author of Babes on Blades
This article is an excerpt from the 2002 Suzan Davis book, Babes on Blades: Drop Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Flab through Inline Skating. This book chapter was reprinted with permission from Suzan Davis and the Cardinal Publishers Group.
Babes on Blades


Article copyright © Suzan Davis


More From Suzan
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