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Special Skills for Babes in Need
An excerpt from the book
Babes on Blades
by Suzan Davis
The Potty Stop
Goal:
Use public restrooms without rolling out the door
with your pants down giving the innocent public a full
moon at high noon. This is one of those skills most
Babes learn by “hit and miss”omostly miss. This is
your chance to learn it correctly.
This works in public restrooms and port-a-potties.
Many Babes initially snort that they will never use
one of those. You will. When the weight of your fanny
pack feels like a sack of rocks on your bladder, you
will experience “willingness over fear.” Hint: Do not
entertain taking off your skates. Many public
restrooms have wet floors and it is not from rain.
Practice on a couch or bench, skipping bullet point number four.
Take off and Landing: Reverse Order
Landing:
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Approach toilet and proclaim, "You will not conquer me"
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Turn your back seat to the toilet seat and touch the porcelain with the back of your leg. Hopefully, it will be dry.
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Put your toes together so you wonit roll, or place toe of right skate on end, keeping your first wheel on the ground, lifting all others.
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Pull down your pants.
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Go down low and slow.
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Use your imagination.
Take Off
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Place toe of right skate on end, keeping your first wheel on the ground, lifting all others.
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Push up from this wheel and stand, keeping knees slightly bent for balance.
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Remember, if the port-a-pot is on a grade, you will roll into the door, so do not point your skates toward the door but in an “A” (toes pointed inward) or at an angle.
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Another option is to put your braking foot forward and press down on your heel, employing your brake, and lifting up. Put your weight on the brake as you rise.
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Pull yourself together.
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Congratulate your Babe self and exit with a look of victory instead of a gaze of bladder urgency.
Article copyright © Suzan Davis
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Kathie Fry, SkateLog Editor
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